i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
