Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
