Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
