Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
