what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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