Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
its not stalking. its research.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
