His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
