Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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