she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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