I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize