the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
