Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
