Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
