Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
