you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
