so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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