fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
