I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
