Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize