we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
