I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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