What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
