she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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