Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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