That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
