Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
