Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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