I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
