i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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