You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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