a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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