You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
