Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
