I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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