It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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