The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
