i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
