Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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