y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize