ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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