I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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