I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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