If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
handjob tips. give me some.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
