I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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