he wants to bone in the snuggie
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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