I must be too annoying 4 u.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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