Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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