I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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