he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
