How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i barfeds in our rink
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
