So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
