You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
