Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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