just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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