somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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