I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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