i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
